1. If he respects you It is difficult for a man to disrespect you if he loves you.

Men who are in love don’t neglect or abuse their lover.

2. If he is proud to show off with you Men are creatures of pride.

They take glory in showing off what they perceive as important and hold at high esteem. Don’t be deceived if he says “I thought it might be too demanding asking you to join me in visiting my friends, parent…blah blah”.

3. If he feels at home whenever he is with you Men hardly give up their self.

There is always that urge to hold back a part of them.

So when your man feels very relax and back home around you, he probably has some plans for you both.

4. If he always tries to impress you Guys are only good at putting up their best before they catch you.

However, if they continue that way long after you have given them a chance then they love, or at least regard you highly.

5. If he is always excited to discuss your future together.

The beauty of a future with you, for a man who truly loves you, can be very exciting to him. If he is passionate about his plans for both of you, it is more likely, he wants to be with you. Though some time you might have a man who is not meeting up with the six, but that doesn’t mean he is not in love with you.

However, in summary, you can tell if your man still loves you through the way he treats you and feels whenever he is around you.

More often than suspected a girl is interested in or likes you if:

1. She acts as if you don’t exist when you are around her

My friend, girls are more conscious of anything entitled to an opinion around them, than you can ever realize. They are seriously interested in what you are thinking of them especially when you are just Ok. So, if they pretend not to notice you, it is very likely they are trying to impress you. Unfortunately, most of the girls don’t know the attitude is a scarecrow for some well-intentioned guys- don’t join the bandwagon; make a move before it’s late.

Tips: Some girls are just rude, blank and indifferent; watch out. You will know the real thing if you are very observant.

1. Her body language gives her up

Some girls can’t help catching a glimpse of a guy that has stricken a cord in them. Most times, they do it to see if he is looking their way especially when there are other beautiful girls around. According to ezinearticles expert Author, Derek Rake, “a girl who exchanges a 2-secs gaze with you has seen you and tagged you”. If you are lucky to meet another gaze, then you must act fast or risk her thinking you are a spineless coward.

Tips: Don’t read it wrong; not all gazes mean “you can come for me”, some could mean “I hope you don’t think you can have me”.

1. She tries to be unnecessarily difficult with you

Guys are use to giving up when they should be changing gears in the wooing race- most of them assume it is safer that way. But, some tough girls will try to discourage or embarrass you to test your tolerance or confidence. Nobody wants to go out with a liverless chap! Unfortunately, some guys are programmed to bail-out with their tails between their legs, with the slightest threat of embarrassment- too bad. However, you need to show such girls that you are tough and wouldn’t mind risking your reputation to get her. When you do this well, she will give up trying to scare you off and then you can have her ears.

Tips: Some places are not just worth getting embarrassed in except you are sure you can remain in control.

1. She is always showing up wherever you go

If you think, it is mere coincidence that you keep meeting a particular girl in every- “un-linkable”- place you go to, especially when it has not been long since you first met, then you better have a re-think. Come on!; she was there at your nieces naming ceremony last month, last week you met her at a friend’s send forth, two days before you bumped into her at the shopping mall and just yesterday her boss sent her to your firm to sign some papers in your office. Where has she been since before you met her over a month ago? Girls can set up an opportunity to meet you if they want to- you will just think it was a coincidence. I tell you, I have had a couple of related experience; I must confess: I felt foolish when I realize it had been a game all the while.

Tips: Nothing is what it seems; people can’t just be out of place for nothing. This one code has kept intelligence agencies and commissions in business all these years.

1. She gets jealous and paranoid when she finds you around the female folks

Don’t feel too bad when a girl gets offensive and tries to ridicule you amongst her friends, especially when she finds you around other girls. She could even go as far as making you uncomfortable and irritated but just keep your head. I have seen many relationships that started out that way. The girl in question might just be craving for your attention and she could condemn you publicly to reduce the competition for you. This is very common with college girls. Honestly, girls find it very difficult to conceal their jealousy and most time they are helpless; some become paranoid- all to get the least recognition from you.

Tips: Girls beware of a friend who condemns your boyfriend- she might be gunning for your throne!

That will be all for now. Please if this article has helped you in any way feel free to leave a comment in my blog, mail to a friend or rate it. I will be very grateful. Chello!

1. Be patient with people:

One of the major causes of misunderstandings in relationships is impatience. Impatience denies you the opportunity to figure out why people do the things they do and how to prevent their actions from hurting your relationship with them. If you can discipline yourself to be patient with people, especially as it concerns their views and actions, you will come to see that people hardly mean bad.

When next you are tempted to rush into conclusions, try to calm your nerves for a while; you might see things from another better perspective. Once, I went back to school, unknowingly, with an important item of Ken’s. I was so scared when I discovered it in school – I had asked him severally, in vain, to give me the item. So I presumed he must have concluded that it was an intentional act. There were no mobile phones then and visiting day was over a month away. Somehow, I got over the guilt but what baffled me most was that when I came back 3 months later; he welcomed me home and acted as if it never happened. Consequently, I was compelled to discuss the issue with him. When I told him how I never intended to steal away with the item, he simply smiled and said he knew. According to him, “Larry, I decided to believe you couldn’t have desired to hurt me and that there must be some form of explanations for what happened”. I was shocked! But that is ken for you. You can borrow a leave from Ken, and let time sort out certain issues with people. You will be surprised the level of success you will record with people.

2. Create ease around you:

It is beautiful for people-even strangers- to feel free and welcomed around you. Ken told me that one of his strong success factors with relationships is that he “lends a hand of friendship the instant he meets people”. How? He simply refuses to be too conscious of the impression he could make on anybody. This attitude made him easy going with people, so when people meet him they just “see through him- no barriers”. “You need to cultivate a free mind to operate on this level”, he says.

Persist on letting people have their way around you- make them feel at home with you. All it takes is to be keenly interested in them, even if you are just meeting them for the first time. Listen to what they have to say; their views and follow up on any conversation you have with them. Laugh at their jokes, pat their back- if necessary, make sincere compliments… and hail them when they deserve it. The problem is that people are too mechanical; they want everything to be formal at the first meeting. It will do a lot of good to be different.

3. Respect people:

People don’t deserve to be respected only because they are older than or better placed than you alone. Also, they don’t have to earn your respect. People are to be respected primarily because; they are humans with emotions, vision, desires… because they are people like you. The past century featured the greatest disrespect for live and nature; with all the wars and abuse of power. This has affected the relationship between nations of the world- everybody is just hanging on. You don’t want this to happen in your relationship; I assure you. Even the elevator person on your way up the office and the beggar on the street deserve to be respected without any prejudice.

Disrespect is not something you can hide; it doesn’t take long to know those who don’t respect us and we are always feeling unfulfilled around them. Ken’s secret of respecting people lies in his conviction that all people are created equal. Now, you don’t have to believe that but you need to understand that your fellow humans deserve to be respected- especially if you want to enjoy a great network of friends.

4. Learn to be nice:

Nothing puts people off better than selfishness. When you hear people say “I like this guy, he is nice”, know that the nice guy must have at least, given up his interest or something of value, once, for that of the observer. It is rare to meet a truly nice guy since it usually requires a great deal of selflessness but if you must be successful with people then you need to learn to be nice.

Ken’s secret on this tip is simple: being patient with and interested in people helps him to be nice to them. According to him, it is easier to care for people when you can tolerate them. If you must be successful with people, you will have to accommodate their shortcomings and open your heart to respond to their problems.

5. Keep in touch

I have lost quite a number of relationships because of an unhealthy bridge in communication. The most painful was that of my university heart-throb; a six-month strike action separated us. We had tried to keep in touch earlier in the break, however, I was not filling up my own part of the equation and soon it appeared as though I was not interested. Before, the strike was called off the relationship had grown stale- I couldn’t even help it when I tried. As someone who is interested in grooming successful relationship with people, you should always show them you need them around. Make calls, write, and visit, if you can. Don’t just stay out long.

Thank God for the advancement in information communication, with social sites, chat, forums and blogs you can keep in touch with your loved ones and friend. You can even share pictures and videos over thousands of miles in a jiffy. Of recent, a friend of mine sent me a U-tube video of his child’s naming ceremony; it took place in South Africa, I was in Nigeria; I felt among.

Honestly, it requires a great deal of sacrifice to groom a successful relationship, no matter its nature, but with some dedication and a keen desire, it can be achieved. It may also be time consuming but you must understand that it is important you have strings of successful relationships. An African adage has it that “He who have people is better than the man with money”.

Now, can you try to smile? Does it embarrass you, make you feel like a fake or was it just hard to make it appear on your face? Whatever the challenge is, with making a sweet smile, you can develop one and start building very beautiful relationships. Before I show how, let me take you through some of the reasons you may be finding it difficult to make a sweet smile. I will just list them.

Why you might be finding it difficult to make a smile
a. Inferiority complex
b. To much worrying
c. Loneliness or other forms of isolation
d. Tiredness, stress, fatigue, etc.
e. Being in the company of rigid people
f. Facial defects, bad teeth etc.
g. Habitual tightening of the facial muscles
h. Shyness
i. Fear of what one might look like when they smile etc.

Ok that will be it for now. We have to dart on the spot. I will now take you through things you can start doing immediately to develop a sweet, one-in-a-million smile. O Yes!

1. Always laugh out loud and clear when it is called for
Laughter is a magic therapy to loosen ones facial muscles. A well-timed laugh will make you feel like a baby and let you free from all that bothers your ego at the moment. Try to laugh as much as possible and do it from your heart. There is no emotional expression as repulsive as a faked laughter.

There is always something amusing about life. Think about these things and laugh out loud. Amuse yourself with your own laugh. I don’t mean chuckling. Keep doing this always and you soon discover how truly beautiful life is, and how easy it is to make a sweet smile.

2. Learn to Like people, even when they are just Strangers
When you like someone, you will be happy when they are with you, hence, be forced to appear cheerful when you meet them. I have discovered that it is difficult to withhold a smile when you meet the people you love. Instinctively, you will be prompted to express how glad you feel about seeing them again.

Even if you can’t just develop love for strangers, find something you can like about them and appreciate it in your heart. Though the beauty of a smile is seen on the outside, it is built in the inside. Anything short of this will be simply, mechanical and very boring.

3. Relax your mind when in the company of others
One of the chief reasons why people find it difficult to be cheerful with others is because, they are too conscious of many things. They want to know what the other person thinks of them, they want to protect their ego, they just get defensive, they want to be perceived as serious-minded, matured etc…

But you have to be relaxed if you must put up a sweet smile. It really takes a calm mind to make a fantastic smile. You just have to forget about all that might go wrong when you smile and try to smile. The result can be great!

4. Work with the Mirror
The first place to test your smile is before a mirror. If the smile, in the mirror, does not warm you up, then it is less likely to be sweet to others. So start developing a sweet smile from the mirror. Each morning, before you meet anybody, go before the mirror (a big one) and practice different smiles. Once you pick a sweet one, practice it, customize it and use it through out the day. Initially you might be embarrassed with the whole thing but, gradually, it will become a part of you and you can just make it unconsciously when the need arises.

The mirror is like a facial plastic surgeon, soon it will sharpen those curves, insert dimples, raise those brows, turn the corners of your mouth upward, bring a luster in your eyes and help you make your greatest facial gestures. This has worked for me and it will work for you.

In this article you will learn how to develop sound conversation skills. If you take these strategies serious you might have reasons to thank me later in life. I will be brief but will recommend a book to further help build this skill. Below are my miracle-working steps for effective conversation in any sphere of life.

Listen intently

Attentive listening shows you appreciate the opinion of the speaker. You will never get on fine with someone you don’t appreciate. When you listen with intense concentration, you tell the other person that you are interested in their thoughts and are willing to learn from them. This is one essence of good relationship.

Additionally, listening attentively helps you note points and concentrate on your thoughts- this aids good reply or remarks. Don’t be sloppy with thoughts when being spoken to; focus on the speaker- showing all interest. This will crown you a good conversationalist even though you spoke less.

Keep the purpose of the conversation in mind.

Don’t float in the wind. Let your mind focus on the subject matter. Try to evaluate the speaker’s thoughts and logic. See how it relates to your own opinion. Observe the speaker’s interest in the subject- if it does not interest him- relate it to his interest.

If you focus on the purpose of the conversation you will make better contributions when you speak. Don’t wonder carelessly into other subjects. Treat what is necessary and avoid pointless digressions.

Hit the nail on its head

It is bad habit to try to impress people with mastery of obnoxious, thought-provoking vocabulary. Use simple English and hit at the bull’s eye. Don’t bore your listener with so many words. Make your point logically. Where there are excess words folly is inevitable. Lay down your facts and let the listener do the thinking.

Speak slowly and Deliberately

If you want your intellect and will to act in unison speak slowly with strict communication with your internal Tutor. Don’t spit out words faster than your thoughts. Approach the subject with ease; people who are hasty in speech are never good public speakers. Words and thoughts have a way of clashing when not used simultaneously. Consequently, the individual is confused and falls out of his line of thought. I tell you, you don’t want to experience that.

Speak with calm confidence

I don’t mean speaking like an activist. You can show your convictions by facial expression and general composure. Try not to impress your listener but make sure you get him to understand you. If you voice out your thoughts logically you will convince the listener. Don’t be defensive when the speaker’s view contrasts yours; remain calm- ask questions that will reveal the truth to him. When you are calm, you show mastery over the subject in question.

Be Honest

Honesty is as white as dropping snow and as transparent as fiber glass. Except for political cases- we are in a terrible world- don’t be too shady with words. Speak from your mind; don’t try to confuse your listener with lies, tell the truth the way you see it and think of it. Don’t adopt another’s opinion if you are not down for it. You can win, just anybody, over by simply being transparent.

Good conversation skill is not in-born, or a gift, neither is it a priced commodity. You can have it, if you desire and are ready to invest your time practicing it. I recommend the book, “how to win friends and influence people” by Dale Carnegie.

Keep flying high

I can’t really remember how long I had to struggle with leaving my bed undress every morning. Initially, I was comfortable with it since Mum or someone else will always come around for it. However, it started becoming a serious problem when I got into high school- it was a boarding school. I would wake up and leap out of bed to get ready for the day without looking at my bed. Then when the daily inspectors came around, while I was already in class, they would send for me and give me the lashing of my life. I was always being punished for crimes around my bunk. At a point I was summoned by the House Master; he was infuriated at my habit so much that he had to place me under close watch for a whole term. Yet the habit lingered- I was just ok with leaping out bed; I just felt comfortable leaving it that way. I knew it was bad or even dirty but I couldn’t help it. When I tried; I managed for about a week of “bed-laying” when I woke, but not after that. I just slumped back to “leaping out”.

Significantly, one morning- at home, towards my final year in high school- my little Sister, Princess, woke me up for the family devotional fellowship. I struggled out of bed and headed for the door just as she took a few steps into my room. I was about shutting the door behind me when I noticed she was still inside- standing inquisitively- starring at my scattered bed.  When I asked her what she was looking at, she simply looked at me disappointedly and went to work on my bed. As I got the message I hurried into the sitting room to join others in the fellowship. However, I was not myself throughout the devotion; how could it be that my little teenage sister was the one to teach me simple bed habit. I was so ashamed of myself that the idea of leaving my bed undressed disgusted me.  From then, I knew I needed a change. Enough of the embarrassment!

The habit I battled with might seem less indulging; especially since it doesn’t take much to dress a bed. However, at that age it was a very difficult one to quit but I did. I have come to apply similar techniques I used in overcoming that habit in dealing with other stronger ones that came up later and I have written this piece to help you.

Have you been struggling with a bad habit for long? Each time you try to put it off it out-wills you. You know you have to do away with it but you seem not to know how to do this. Is it smoking, Drunkenness, Unfaithfulness, masturbation, lies telling, over indulgence in pornography…? Or do you know someone who is battling with a bad habit? I will show you five things you should do if freedom is your goal.

Bad habits, like leaches, stick with the host- some pulling and scratching is needed in having it let go. They take time to form but once they do, they become a part of you. You either learn to live with them or decide to do away with them. Let’s have the magical five

1. Resolve to turn around: it is your will to change that can save you. Until you decide to drop that habit, no therapist can save you. A bad habit can only make you unhappy with your life later. It is an ill wind.   Every habit has a consequence. You have to understand this and resolve to do something about the habit immediately. Each time you indulge in a habit you give it an upper-hand over your ability to drop it.

You might need to be disgusted about the habit to build the will to change it. You can associate a bad feeling to the act. Let the thought of it irritate you. You can associate it with a very bitter experience in the past. The idea is to try to force your subconscious to repel the habit. You can find out what is at stake; is it your health, relationships, marriage, reputation, financial freedom… future?

2. Find out why and how it came about: The root of the habit is very important. It answers a lot of questions. If you know how it all started you will have a better chance at dealing with it. For instance, a habit that started by peer influence can be dropped easily than one picked from a parent. The point is in finding out what led to it. Is it an unhealthy thirst, an influential experience, indiscriminate exposure, immature indulgence, peer pressure etc? Why did you get involved in the first place? You could have it written down. Are you still in it for the same reason why you started it? What has kept you in it for this long? You can hand over your discoveries to a counselor. Remember: you must be very truthful about this.

3.  Cease control over your life: One thing about habits is that they take charge of your life. That’s why you can’t just drop them without some serious battle. They control your senses and respond to your need. They know your weaknesses and how best to use them against you. So you end up dropping and picking them again. But it doesn’t have to be so. You can still cease power. It starts from the mind. Reprioritize your values and empower your will.

Thoughts controls emotion, which in turn direct ones life. Since you can decide what to think, you are responsible for your life. Use this ability to your advantage. Don’t let stimulus and situations control you. Bad habits are often stimulated by the value we attach to agents that urges to indulge in them. You have to control your senses. Decide what shouldn’t appeal to you and practice rejecting it consistently.

4. Practice the art of distraction: We give strength to the thoughts we focus intently on. It follows that the more distracted you are the lesser the grip of the impulse on you. In fighting a bad habit, it is wise, each time you are tempted, to direct your thoughts to activities of very strong impression. Once the mind is distracted pleasure is distorted. You can go out to meet people, look over an unfinished task, solve a riddle or even play a game. More interestingly, you can write about the battle of will against pleasure going on in you. On the contrary, if you keep thinking about how to go through the challenge, you will fall prey once again. You will give the stimulus a good chance to tempt you.

5.  Replace the habit with a new one or even a skill: This is one very efficient way to get rid of a bad habit. When you always do something else even though you are prompted to do another, you gradually place the new thing above the other. This can be really interesting and it works like magic! But make sure the new habit is a good one, which you derive joy in. A smoker, for instance, may decide to practice the piano each time he is tempted to smoke a cigarette. If he does this consistently he will soon switch what gives him pleasure and put habits in competition for dominion. Insightfully, the inner-man always knows what’s best for the man.

Every human soul seeks for freedom. We are designed to love freedom whether from people or things. It is these crave for freedom and self expression that leads into a bad habit; same will lead you out of it. But you must first convince yourself that you are in bondage of that habit and be willing to pick up another one.

On the contrary, there were other times when; even when I had nothing good around the corner, I felt happy to be alive. I look in the future and all I could see will be greatness; I always envisaged a beautiful family, a great career… a very bright future. Though I will, in most instances, be unable to figure out the source of my excitement, I always knew I was a happier person. Interestingly, I observed that I always performed far above expectations during times like that. Everything I got into moves well and there always seemed to be an unending flow of strength from within.

Around the last lap of 2008 I was in a similar situation to the one I described in the first paragraph. It was my final year in the University; family and friends were looking up to celebrating my graduation in style. In Fact my Mum had to inform a clique of her friends that she would be hosting a Welcome/Graduation party in my favour, a week to my birthday. Then, just a few days to the one I was suppose to defend my degree project a Lecturer friend of mine called me to inform me that two of my subjects were outstanding; one was from my first year in school and the other was of my final year.  Friend, I will just try to describe how I felt with a statement: “I saw my dreams varnished before my eyes”. It was a terrible experience. I couldn’t even prepare for my “project defense”, which unfortunately was few days away. How could I explain to my family, friends and even myself that I wouldn’t graduate when I was supposed to? What about the plans and projects already set in motion awaiting my graduation? What about my mates who would leave me behind? All these unanswered questions plunged me into a depression stronger than the feared global recession- just joking. I felt very disappointed at myself and couldn’t get myself to report the sad news to my Mum.

I spent the dark days before my defense wallowing in emotional penury and losing touch with life. I lost over 10kg even though I was feeding fine. Not that it was a major setback, but it was so sudden and unexpected that I couldn’t even think of any reasonable thing to do. I was in this state for over two weeks until I had a chat with a friend- somehow I got to open up to him. That meeting prompted the needed change in my life and gave me HOPE- it was beautiful. First he advised me to inform my family, “at least they will give you some moral support and you wouldn’t feel you are in all this alone” he offered. Then he told me to get to my department (in school) and find out things for myself, “May be there was an error somewhere” he said. I obeyed him; I informed my mum that evening, she felt bad expectedly, however, she promised to support me in any way she can. After speaking to her I felt as if I had just been relief of a tank of stone on my head. Being a prayerful person she got into some serious talk with God, and as each day pass I grew stronger and “saw hope”- she was beautiful.

Just as advised, later that week I visited my department and after a few days of digging, filling and correcting we discovered it was a mistake from the department. I had even made top grades in both of the courses that I supposedly was outstanding. I don’t want to sound too religious but I wouldn’t fail to acknowledge the almighty God for everything; it was a miracle. That one miracle gave me hope; I realized that life can be very dynamic and that hanging on the edge doesn’t necessary means falling off a cliff. Since I got out of that mess I have achieve so much that I can’t compare to any other time in the past. I am richer, I enjoy a wider network of friends, I have affected more lives positively and the future has remained brighter. I can’t explain how it happened; I just know I now look to the future with HOPE and this is affecting everything I do.

I want to just point out a couple of things for you- you who have given up on everything and to who HOPE is alien.

1. When there is life, there is hope.
2. The solution to a problem can just be an ear away- share your pains.
3. Don’t give up especially when you have tried more than enough.
4. It takes a slight tilt in fate to see hope work.
5. It all always has a way of working out fine; especially when we hold on.

I want to show you some result-provoking steps you can take to help the situation and restore the happiness you once enjoyed with your honey.

Warning: You must be really determined to solve the problem

1.     Learn to listen more:

Oh yes! This comes first. Nothing turns away anger than a listening ear. Sometimes your spouse just wants to know you are listening. When you pay good attention to your spouse when he or she is “hot”, you tell him or her that you respect his or her feelings. On the contrary, if the both of you keep shouting at the same time then nobody is saying anything and you will end up hurt.

No matter how strong the temptation to give out a piece of your mind is, just listen. This gives you an opportunity to know what the problem is and how to respond to the situation successfully. It will also save you the risk of saying something you will regret later and win you the respect of your spouse.

2.     Try to be understanding:

You can only achieve this if you try to place yourself in your spouse’s position.  Find out what could be responsible for his or her pain. How would you expect to be treated if you were in your spouse’s shoes? Think about this sincerely as you listen to your spouse.

Don’t blame your spouse for how he or she feels, after all you don’t have the same mindset. Not withstanding how wrong the person is, just keep calm and show enough concern for his or her feelings. This will achieve more than trying to prove how right you are. Arguments don’t solve any problem at home especially when two of you are really “mad” at yourselves.

3.     Don’t recall past issues:

This is where most couples get it wrong. They leave the subject matter to dwell on past issues that should be left in the trashcan of history. This often indicates unforgiveness and insecurity. You can do better by focusing on the subject at hand.

 This saves time and shows you have an open mind. It will also help you both to achieve more in dealing with the issue and save you the pain of remembering past hurts.

4.     Accept your mistakes and apologize sincerely:

What if I’m not wrong? It doesn’t matter, the point is that someone thinks you are wrong. If you must save the situation then you have to apologize. It will not skin you! However, you can ask your spouse to tell you where you are wrong. You will be surprised how wrong you are.

Accepting your mistakes kind of puts of the “fire”. Your spouse is on fire because he or she thinks you are wrong and you are not doing anything about it. Your goal is to save the situation otherwise you will not be reading this now.

5.     Ask your spouse what he or she wants you to do:

Doing this will give your spouse a sense of importance and might even make him or her feel bad about starting up the quarrel, however, it must be an honest question. Anything apart from this could add salt to injury.

When you find out what is expected of you, take a sincere step to show that you are willing to help the situation. This might not be your opinion but you can leave that for later.

Until then, fly high always.

1. DEFINE YOUR PROBLEM

It is important that you know exactly what the problem is; until you do, you will keep chasing shadows while thinking you are doing something about the challenge. Why is this so? I will tell you: The mind works better, when it is focused and purpose driven. It is easier to deal with a problem you can define. A clear understanding of the problem gives you a “grip” and keeps you in control over the situation.

Now, take this easy-to-apply-yet-efficient step to define your problem clearly:

In one sentence write down what is bothering you most about the problem.

Tips: is it that;

 You are not capable of solving the problem? Or

 You don’t think there is a solution to the problem? Or

 You don’t have the resources to tackle the problem? Or

 There isn’t enough time to deal with the problem? Or

 Something very important is at risk (your job, relationship, reputation, investment, marriage, health, education etc.)?

 Let me try to be clearer; For instance:

Situation 1: Kenneth is a personnel Manager in a synthetic diamond production company. He has a loyal and highly professional workforce under his charge. Out of a team of ten very efficient material Scientists, he has been asked to suggest for retrenchment, four scientists to the Executive Board before two weeks. The Board decided on that to cut down the cost of operations as recommended by a reputable financial management consultant.

Possible challenges (problems):

1. Kenneth could be concerned about retrenching four loyal employees that have been good with their jobs. He wonders what will happen to their families and how betrayed they will feel.

2. He might also be troubled about how to fish out the four least efficient scientists in the team.

3. He could even be distressed at the possibility of not meeting up with the time given to him to send in his suggestion.

4. Furthermore, he might feel retrenchment isn’t a necessary step to cut down cost and could support his view with the fact that the scientists are responsible for the company’s income.

Now if he had to ponder over all that, my guess is:

 he will not make the right decision even if he somehow succeeded in meeting up with time.

The truth: if he hopes to deal with the problem squarely, Kenneth will have to define exactly what the problem really is i.e. what he needs to be bothered about.

So what should he do?

Since he works for the company and hopes to build his career, he must be bothered about what the organization’s leaders think is best for the company. Problems 2 & 3 should be given top priority.

 Looking at these top-priority problems, we can define his problem thus: The uncertainty in deciding and using the best method to find out the best six scientists to retain before two weeks

That’s a clear picture of a defined problem!

Oh! That’s quite selfish, what about their families? Well, he will be doing his job. He is not a major decision maker and must conform to the policies of his organization. As a Personnel Manager, he is employed to utilize the available human resources to achieve the organizational goals efficiently and effectively.

However, he may decide to recommend a good welfare package for those who eventually lose their job. He could suggest that they be given recommendatory letters to other firms in the industry or send off grants.

stay posted for the rest steps!

Insightfully, it is has been reported that smiling consistently, especially when things are not going well, can reduce your stress level. A smiling face also makes you look approachable, more attractive and friendly. It builds ones self-esteem and finally, you will look better on photographs if you always have a sweet smile on (Laughs).

 Now, can you try to smile?

Does it embarrass you, make you feel like a fake or was it just hard to make it appear on your face? Whatever the challenge is, with making a sweet smile, you can develop one and start building very beautiful relationships. Before I show how, let me take you through some of the reasons you may be finding it difficult to make a sweet smile.

I will just list them. Why you might be finding it difficult to make a smile

a. Inferiority complex

b. To much worrying

c. Loneliness or other forms of isolation

 d. Tiredness, stress, fatigue, etc.

 e. Being in the company of rigid people

f. Facial defects, bad teeth etc.

g. Habitual tightening of the facial muscles

 h. Shyness

 i. Fear of what one might look like when they smile etc.

Ok that will be it for now. We have to dart on the spot. I will now take you through things you can start doing immediately to develop a sweet, one-in-a-million smile.

 O Yes!

 1. Always laugh out loud and clear when it is called for

 Laughter is a magic therapy to loosen ones facial muscles. A well-timed laugh will make you feel like a baby and let you free from all that bothers your ego at the moment. Try to laugh as much as possible and do it from your heart.

There is no emotional expression as repulsive as a faked laughter. There is always something amusing about life. Think about these things and laugh out loud. Amuse yourself with your own laugh. I don’t mean chuckling. Keep doing this always and you soon discover how truly beautiful life is, and how easy it is to make a sweet smile.

 2. Learn to Like people, even when they are just Strangers

When you like someone, you will be happy when they are with you, hence, be forced to appear cheerful when you meet them. I have discovered that it is difficult to withhold a smile when you meet the people you love. Instinctively, you will be prompted to express how glad you feel about seeing them again.

 Even if you can’t just develop love for strangers, find something you can like about them and appreciate it in your heart. Though the beauty of a smile is seen on the outside, it is built in the inside. Anything short of this will be simply, mechanical and very boring.

3. Relax your mind when in the company of others

One of the chief reasons why people find it difficult to be cheerful with others is because, they are too conscious of many things. They want to know what the other person thinks of them, they want to protect their ego, they just get defensive, they want to be perceived as serious-minded, matured etc., . But you have to be relaxed if you must put up a sweet smile.

It really takes a calm mind to make a fantastic smile. You just have to forget about all that might go wrong when you smile and try to smile. The result can be great!

4. Work with the Mirror

The first place to test your smile is before a mirror. If the smile, in the mirror, does not warm you up, then it is less likely to be sweet to others. So start developing a sweet smile from the mirror. Each morning, before you meet anybody, go before the mirror (a big one) and practice different smiles. Once you pick a sweet one, practice it, customize it and use it through out the day.

Initially you might be embarrassed with the whole thing but, gradually, it will become a part of you and you can just make it unconsciously when the need arises. The mirror is like a facial plastic surgeon, soon it will sharpen those curves, insert dimples, raise those brows, turn the corners of your mouth upward, bring a luster in your eyes and help you make your greatest facial gestures.

This has worked for me and it will work for you.

hope you are better now?